Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Dan Humphrey Is the New Pacey Witter

promo for the next episode of Gossip Girl, "Carrnal Knowledge"! Harold Waldorf to the rescue!

extended promo!

Saturday, January 24, 2009

I Need Something Good to Happen

so last night was my first time watching new episodes of Friday Night Lights and Battlestar Galactica back to back. And it's weird. Bad weird.

I loved last night's episode of Friday Night Lights (for you DirecTV folks, it was the one where Matt gets his emancipation papers signed, Riggins eats raw pigeon, and Tyra vies for school president). I know these are fictional characters, but goddamn they make me cry like they're real: Coach Taylor working so hard for Smash because he needs something good to happen; Smash so scared but striving to be the player he used to be; Matt Saracen: grandson of the year taking out his frustrations on cardboard boxes; and Tyra dressed down by Tammy.

And then thirty seconds after FNL ends — I'm still filled with mad love for the characters and how they fight and fight for what they believe in, and for love, and for the love of the game — I'm in the apocalyptic future(past) with a messy Galactica (people, don't litter in your spaceship), a president who's given up, and stupid Gaita ruining everything. It was so depressing and kind of . . . boring. Of the four seasons of BSG, there have been maybe two episodes I didn't like. And now: three. The direction this (half)season is going feels all wrong especially as it's the end of the series. Was it a mistake to already find Earth and have it be a total fail? Maybe. The tone of last night's episode felt appropriate for the depths of Bush's America. Guys, that's so last week. Things have never been easy for my beloved Battlesmash Galacticar characters, but it feels like they've lost the fight in 'em. Like the promise of a peaceful Human-Cylon future has been lost. Cmon BSG, I need something good to happen.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Press Conference!

Welcome to the first Calhoun Tribune interview! I saw this post over at All the Wine's excellent blog and now, zomg, it's time for me to answer 5 questions.

if you want
me to ask you 5 questions:
1. leave me a comment saying you want to be interviewed.

2. I'll email you five questions, of my determination not yours!

3. You update your blog with the answers to the questions.

4. You offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

And we begin:

1. Let's get straight to it. Marry, boff, kill: Chuck Bass, Dan Humphrey, Nate Archibald (based on the characters).
No hesitation, I know my answer — marry Nate Archibald, boff Chuck Bass, and kill Dan Humphrey. (Sorry, Serena!)

As our dear Blair Waldorf found out two weeks ago, Chuck Bass says "wife" like it's the worst word in the world. He ain't the marrying kind. He's the boffing kind. Our dear Natie is used to the Love of his Life boffing Chuck Bass, so he won't mind. (BTW, I assume the boffing is a life-long thing, like marriage?) Nate has figured out his daddy issues (for the most part), is all about being honest and stuff, and is totally hot. I can marry him NO PROBLEM despite his opera hair. That is what I will bring to the relationship: advice about his hair. So, sorry, Dan Humphrey, there's no room for you. Lonely Boy is just a little too judgey and reminds me a little too much of an ex–love interest for boffing. Off with your head, D.

2. How would you describe your personal style?

Um, um. Right now my personal style is a little bit boring -- I live in blue jeans. Usually a pretty ordinary outfit with just a touch of flair, like something neon or some bit of jewelry so I don't bore myself to bits. I love boots and dark eye-makeup and messy wavy hair. The 'minimal effort in, for maximum results' type of style.

In the past year (totally because of a deadly combo of Gossip Girl and Mad Men and my friend Claire), I'm way more into wearing skirts and dresses and colorful tights and actually thinking about what I'm wearing. I'm turning into a downmarket mashup of all the Gossip Girl girls: B + S + V + J = CCalhoun.

3. What's your favorite thing about living in Toronto?

With the exception of three months in L.A., I've never lived anywhere farther than half an hour from Toronto. I don't know what living anywhere else is like: my entire home and my people (minus the ex-pats) and my work are all here. But that sorta has nothing to do with Toronto itself. I like the seemingly endless possibilities of Toronto: neighbourhoods, scenes, people, festivals, parks and the islands and beaches, we get all four seasons, and there are three really good brunch spots within a three minute walk from my house. the St Lawrence Market. And when Geri Halliwell left the Spice Girls, our then-mayor wrote her a letter asking her to reconsider.

4.You've won a walk-on role on your favorite television show and you get to suggest the new character you play. Which show and what type of character?
AH! What is my favourite TV show? Gossip Girl, Battlestar Galactica, Friday Night Lights? I'm ruling out any show not still on the air. And since BSG has already finished filming and all I talk about is Gossip Girl, let's go with Friday Night Lights! I am Coach Taylor's niece who comes to Dillon to visit (which means I get to hang out with Tammy, Julie, and Coach Taylor, and go to a game) and maybe, just maybe, I befriend Tim Riggins (didn't see that coming, did you?). He totally falls for me, but then I have to leave town. So sad. But maybe I'll be back? You never know.

5. If you left the webs tomorrow, what would you want your Internet eulogy to say?
Crissy Calhoun, chief only blogger at the Calhoun Tribune, departed the Internets today. Launching the Tribune in October 2004 for a readership of two, Calhoun was an inconsistent poster who never quite figured out how to make photos go where she wanted them on Blogger. Her love for Twitter, the Fail Blog and Dinosaur Comics was not enough to keep her in this realm. The Tribune will continue on without her, in the trusty hands of AnnaLynne McCord.

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

the United States of Obama

  1. I am very glad Obama is the president of the U.S. of A.
  2. When I listen to Obama speak, I want to be a better person.
  3. I have written this bit of today's speech on a post-it note and put it on my wall (not joking):

    "There is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task."

  4. Obama is really impossibly good-looking.

Monday, January 19, 2009

Spotted: You've Got Yale

Before watching this episode, I was pretty excited for an honest-to-goodness school plot line. With a teacher! In the school! I forget sometimes that Gossip Girl is a show about teenagers who are (mostly) in their senior year of high school with ordinary concerns like college, in addition to the reading of wills, dilemmas regarding shared half-siblings, pseudo murders, and the day-to-day machinations of B's minions.

Welcome to new character Rachel Carr (Laura Breckenridge), a new teacher at Constance who doesn't play by the — well, by Blair's rules. I wonder if she and Dan are going to develop any romantic feelings for each other! I wonder as he makes her a cappuccino and ignores Serena's call.

So it was Yale Day at Constance/St. Jude's. Yale or Bust. For Blair, it was Bust then Yale then Bust. Dan got in; Serena got in but turned it — and Dan's dreams of four years together at college — down; Nelly Yuki did not get in (but she did get a 2360 on her SATs, which is a really good score, right Americans?). Blair and Chuck shared almost no screen time this eve — oh man, remember that hilarious moment of B scurrying across the opera house lobby while Chuck sips champagne, oblivious — and I think that was a smart detour by the writers. Give us a time out from the constant Chuck/Blair ups and downs. But then bring them right back, okay?

I love Funny Dan and was so happy to see him for, like, half of this episode. He managed to get some brillo lines in, in what was a pretty effing funny episode. Some magical moments:
  • Dorota, Harold Waldorf and Roman in their Yale outfits and Yale themed breakfast.
  • "Death by Dorota"
  • "Does Ms. Carr have Benjamin Button Syndrome?" (so timely!)
  • Eric's reminder to the PDA-heavy Rufus and Lily that his "bedroom is below yours"
  • Blair comparing Dan's excitement to get into Yale to a cafeteria lady who's won the lottery.
  • "Witch hunts are my Valium, Serena." GOLD!
  • "Second semester seniors get a free pass, like pregnant ladies or 14-year-old Chinese gymnasts."
  • Chuck's plots to take down Jack Bass: buy anthrax with his credit card, put him on Megan's List, use (two) transvestite hookers who owe Chuck a favor, put coke in his gym bag and "#26."
  • Eric's overly excited opera lesson for Rufus.
  • "Cancel the Nelly Yuki Project."
  • The double date of R, L, D, and S goes from "Family Ties to Faulkner" in one drink.
What this episode was seriously lacking, in my opinion: plaid. more plaid plz. [Plaid hug!]

Also let's talk about how Chuck's opera hair looked super hot, while Nate's opera hair looked sooooooooo bad. Crazy bad. Rufus shouldn't worry about his picture in the Post, and Nate should just thank his lucky stars it wasn't a photo of him.

But in all seriousity, the Chuck and Lily plot line was heartbreaking+warming. As cruel as Chuck was to her, I think he was right to suggest she could exercise a little more tact, and think of others — her children and Chuck — before, um, parading her mistress around. I am beyond happy and touched that C is now legally guarded by Lily, and that he's moving back in to the suite. Sigh.

Jack Bass — considerably less hot in this episode. Yup. It's like you take all the bad parts of Chuck Bass and let them fester in Australia for years and years, you end up with Jack. Remember when Chuck was the one attacking women, not recognizing something was wrong and helping? I'm sure the role reversal is not lost on Chuck, nor was the fact that the answer to his problem lay in trusting Lily, not in illegal and juvenile pranks. (That said: more juvenile pranks plz! Another Nairtini!)

The attack in the powder room was really scary — I don't think it helps that Kelly Rutherford is visibly pregnant and that Desmond Harrington plays crazy-high-violent really well. I don't like the fact that this is the third attack we've seen on Gossip Girl (Serena, Jenny, Lily, each one more violent than the previous) and no one's ever reported it or pressed charges. It's settled with a punch in the face or a kick in the balls. That's a start but . . . cmon. Consequences.

Some questions as we move forward:
  • What happened to Headmistress Queller? Was that the same actress but with bad hair?
  • Why did the Yale secretary have such a weird accent? LOL party. I think it was the same actress who was choking and snorting next to V at the opera.
  • Was this "where do we sit at the opera" plot the first indication of trouble afoot in N/V land?
  • How did Serena's boobs NOT fall out of that opera dress?
  • Is Dan really going to have a love affair with the teacher? That's so Pacey Witter circa 1998.
  • Blair watches Gilmore Girls? Never thought that my dad and Blair Waldorf would have something in common.
  • Did anyone understand what Dan was talking about when he said he wanted to put his dad and Serena's mom in a box? That was eXtreme rambling.
No new episode next week (wah) but it's always worth the wait. And besides, I have so much writing to do! That book just refuses to write itself.

Promo for 2.17 coming soon... (my youtube search came up with this. rick-rolling is old, people.)

**OH i forgot another bit of hilarity but the Waffles+Falafels post reminded me: refresh. refresh. refresh.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Lily of the Valley

so the Gossip Girl spin-off concept has finally been figured out (and confirmed by show creators) — a teenage Lily Rhodes (aka Lily vdW-Bass) living in California with her sister Carol (the aunt who Eric supposedly went to stay with in Miami when really he was at the Ostroff Center). From Josh Schwartz (E! Online):

As for the just-announced Gossip Girl spinoff, which centers around a young Lily van der Woodsen (Kelly Rutherford), Schwartz reveals: "I'm writing it right now with Stephanie [Savage] as we speak. We're being very, very careful that nothing we do will feel like we are biting off from the Gossip Girl original."

So will a young Rufus appear? "Not at first," Schwartz tells me. "He's not one of our characters. Maybe at some point, if the show is lucky enough to run for several seasons, it will come up, but it's just really about Lily and her sister Carol, Serena's Aunt Carol, who's sort of this free spirit, a wannabe actress who's living in this house in the valley. Her experience on the other side as someone without money going to public school, having to make a whole new group of friends, being cast out from the world that she knew."

The spinoff will be presented as a flashback in the penultimate episode of the current season of Gossip Girl, which airs May 11. Schwartz says none of the roles have been cast yet.

So what about the No. 1 fan question: What will happen with Chuck and Blair? "You don't actually want to know the answer to that. The fun is in the journey."

Interesting... I'm a little sad to lose one of our GG episodes to the spin-off premiere but also: I adore Lily and think this concept could work. I have faith that Josh & Stephanie would keep it from being a Grand Super Cheez '80s Party, where there's no substance and just a bunch of goofy neon leggings and big hair.

Yay or nay to the GG spin-off concept?

Thursday, January 15, 2009

Oh man I am late for work

My roommate doesn't read my blog (good to know in case I want to reveal anything and not get in trouble!) so on Tuesday night I had the pleasure of telling him: Guess what I'm not watching this week or ever? Privileged or Nine Oh. And with Battlestar Galactica starting up again, and Lost, I think the Season of Forbes has arrived. (He did sit through an episode of Hannah Montana — and laughed once — so don't think I won't continue to subject him to what he deems crap telly.)

"Uh oh, is it war?" asks D
orota. In this Monday's episode of Gossip Girl, the writers remember that these characters go to school and don't always loiter in the courtyard and hallways. They go INTO the school and to classes. I think the only time we've ever seen the girls in class was gym, when B and S had a field hockey throwdown. Other than that? No time in class or with teachers (unless they are in big troubles with Headmistress Queller). The "You've Got Yale" promo is here:

And the Gossip Girls are Cover Girls this month, with Blake Lively on Vogue, Leighton Meester on Teen Vogue, and Taylor Momsen on CosmoGirl's Prom issue. Poor Leighton; this cover sux. AlltheWine twittered this link to Chace Crawford and Ed Westwick on The Views the other day. If those hosts call the show Gossip GirlS one more time...

ALSO I will have the cover for my book REALLY soon! I love it beaucoup and I hope you guys do too.

** Nikki sent me this link to a story about the Gossip Girl spinoff -- rumor is that it'll be about Lily in the '80s. ZOMG, potentially awesome and potentially hilarious.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Spotted: Gone With the Will

Dear Chuck,

You are a disappointment. Why do you wear so much purple?

Bart Bass

If you are ever invited to a brunch at the Palace Hotel, hosted by or celebrating a man named Bass, do not go. A life-altering secret will be revealed, you will storm out of the brunch, and the reserved eclairs will go uneaten. Double tragedy.

So we didn't quite find out what happened betwixt Blair and Jack on New Year's Eve, but something skeevy, as S would say. I thought we would find out, since in the promo there was that clip of Chuck saying, "She wouldn't touch you," and Jack saying, "Why don't you ask her about it?" Maybe that is for next week? Je ne sais pas.

Jack Bass: the worst uncle since Claudius. The sad thing is it seems that Chuck and Jack actually get along quite well together. (Seems, madam? Nay, it is. I know not seems. sorry.) Uncle Jack makes an excellent villain with his creepy faces and — what was he eating at the end? A bowl of chocolate pudding? Something rich and absurd. That cursed morality clause. Always getting me kicked off the helm of companies I am too young and inexperienced to run.

I loved the Humphrey/van der Woodsen plot this week! The UES Brady Bunch were all charming and honest without being treacly. And Jenny's brunch outfit was marvy, in my humble opinion (see below, Barneys CO-OP turtleneck and Temperley London jumper). Way better than that weird navy zip dress Serena was wearing when she talked to V at the gallery. I'm glad the shared half-sibling won't keep Dan and Serena apart. It's creepy but not toooo creepy.

It's getting pretty damn obvious that Kelly Rutherford is pregnant, despite her attempts to hold a magazine in front of her belly. that's OK! As long as Rufus and Lily hold hands and help each other through this, I am happy! Make some waffles, Rufus, Lily's eating for two!

Now all we need is a boyfriend for Jenny, or an additional best friend, or a hobby that doesn't turn into an all-out obsessive career, and the family will be golden.

Let's talk about how mean the Mean Girls were this week. WTF Nelly Yuki? WTF Penelope LameFace? As mean as Blair ever was, she had boundaries to her evilness. You don't out Eric without his permission, and you definitely don't reveal to the world that Lily vdW and Rufus have a secret love child that Dan knows about but Serena doesn't. Penelope, Nelly and the Dumb One don't have anything against S, do they?

ALSO: since when do people celebrate two month anniversaries, Nate and Vanessa? That said, V looked super pretty this episode, and I'm glad Nate's back to being a friend to Chuck, and to Dan. Love the return of mini Serena and her girls. What did she say to Vanessa? "Talk about failing upwards." Genius. Also I would like a bag of candy plz and fanks.

Whaddaya think about the Half-Bro being not-dead-dead? So the adopted parents lost their biological son in the sailing accident, decided to tell Rufly it was Andrew the Adopted Son so the richies wouldn't steal their only remaining son? That is the type of shenanigans that will get you in trouble, Stranger Parents. If Andrew is anything like his siblings, he'll be snooping around and scrolling through missed calls. Watch out.

So what happens next? Feels like a lot of plots are kinda wrapped up or just backburner simmering. Oh why don't we get the promos after the episodes in Canada? I shall go and troll YouTube.**Crappy quality here.

Saturday, January 10, 2009

My Crush with Eyeliner

Good Morning, Internet. Where have I left my coffee? Found it. Today's mug is A Room of One's Own, which I bought in Oxford with Claz in April. That was a brilliant day. Look! I am in a boat and we are punting down the River Cherwell. And today it is wintery and there haven't been any trips down any rivers for quite some time, and Clairey is in England and I am here.

But on the bright side: free makeup. Tammy blogged about her great lash experience, which reminded me I've been meaning to do the same. A marketing company sent me some mascara to try out — L'Oreal Double Extend Beauty Tubes. It's fancy double-ended mascara where one side is white stuff and the other is the regular black stuff. I am a drugstore mascara wearer, usually Great Lash since once a magazine told me that is the best of the cheapies. (I believe everything that I read.)

But recently my Great Lash experience has been more like Spikey Stumpy Clumpy Lash, so I am a prime candidate for a revolution in mascara. And Double Extend is pretty good.... It's novelty-time fun to put on the white and then the black, and I have enough time in the morning for the extra 2 seconds that takes. And it does make your eyelashes crazy long. Mainly because you're putting a coat of crap on your eyelashes for the black to stick to. Like temporary false eyelashes.

Then it came time to wash that stuff off. I didn't read the instructions, so when giant lash-like things came falling off my face, I thought my eyelashes were in the sink washing down the drain. Panic. But those were the fake-false-eyelashes. A little bit creepy.

The other thing, which is more my problem than the product's prob, is that the next morning — if you happen to not wash off your makeup before bed and expect it to be wearable the next day, for brunch at least — my eyelashes look like I spent the night gluing giant spider's legs to my eyes. So if you see me looking like a witch with spider eyes, know that is yesterday's mascara. So yesterday. (Also I have a coupon for 5 bucks off the kinda pricey Double Tubes if you are interested! Holla at me: crissy calhoun gmail. You can figure my email out, I bet.)

The bonus round makeup story was in addition to the mascara, i got this 4-pack eyeshadow for a smokey eye look (which is my i-don't-know-what-to-do-let's-go-with-the-usual look) and a liquid eyeliner. I normally use eyeliner that smudges down my face after a half hour and this liquid stuff lasts like 48 hours! My eyeliner this morning: looks effing perfect. I am ready for my spider-legs and perfect liner close-up, thank you.

When I wake up in my makeup, it's too early for that dress.

at work, i am proofreading Grunge Is Dead: The Oral History of Seattle Music (Greg Prato). you guys, this book is insanely good. I was probably 12 when my bro first got a nirvana cassette tape, and i guess if you had to label my early high school style it was grungey. but i have never been full-on into a music scene, so there's so much i am learning about these bands i liked then (and still like, as i listen to those albums again), and bands i didn't know at all: mother love bone, the melvins, tad. Grunge Is Dead is all interviews — the people who were there making the music or working at Sub Pop — and there's this quote from a band guy (don't remember who) talking about touring and having no money. So when he was hungry, he would chug a root beer and then jump up and down cause that would fill you up. classic. the book is also really tragic when you get to the stories about Andy Wood and Layne Staley, and you're reading their best friends and brothers and girlfriends and mothers talk about losing them to drug overdoses. y'all are going to have to wait til April to read this book, but if there are any typos in it, it'll be all my fault. when a book is this good, it's hard to concentrate on the job at hand.

Wednesday, January 07, 2009

And While I'm At It

My roommate will rejoice: not only am i giving up on 90210, entirely, cold turkey, but I am also dropping Privileged.

I actually don't mind the Baker Twins or Megan or the Hot Billionaire Next Door or the Marco the Chef, but it is just so tiresome all piled together. Pointless and meandering without excellent quips (or outfits) to make the vacuity bearable.

90210 and Privileged really couldn't bear the comparison when I popped in season 2 of Friday Night Lights last night. Holy Dillon Panthers, that show is marvelous. I love Tammy and Coach Taylor, of course Riggins, and Smash. And that Minka Kelly's face reminds me just a little bit of Leighton Meester. So I have to like her character Lyla for that reason alone.

Season 3 of Friday Night Lights starts next Friday. night. (lights. ach.) the same night as Battlesmash Galacticar! TV OVERLOAD.

And the Thunder Rolls...

Extended "Gone with the Will" promo. Zut alors, what will Jack Bass do to his nephew?

Gossip Cast talks about their first concert. Nate Archibald WINS.

Find more videos like this on Gossip Girl Music

Tuesday, January 06, 2009

my 90210pinions: Hello, Goodbye, Amen

Oh this show sux. I did not miss it while it was gone, but I did forget how crappy it truly is. This episode didn't feature quite enough Naomi to be hilarious, just enough to be annoying.

Annie and Naomi battle to be best half-sister to new brother Sean. I hope Dan and Serena and Jenny and Eric don't have a half-brother bestie battle on Gossip Girl. oh wait they never would, that idea sux.

In class, we learn about INTUITION seeing without eyeballs.

Brenda has some mysterious ailment and is ALONE and also: crying. Silver is jealous of Dixon's new friend who is a hot girl. Audrina wants to invite Brenda to Rehab Times; Kelly agrees to call her. Oooooh.

Pictionary at the Wilson house! And also: Dr. Pepper. Sean sneaks out to take a secret phone call. You know what is scarier than having an imposter brother living in your house? Having Annie "Shanae Grimes" Wilson sneak up on you and be all, HEY BRO. She is such a big tattletale. And Sean is a big old liar; he says his adopted daddy was a gambler and killed himself to protect his son. DOUBT IT. It seems that Annie's INTUITION is telling her something is up. My intuition is telling me that Shenae Grimes is a terrible actor, especially when she has to have "sneaking suspicions."

Excellent Dialogue
Kelly: She sees you as a mother figure.
Brenda: I didn't ask for that.

Christina the Hot Cheerleader tries to talk music with Dixon while ensuring the Dr. Pepper logos get excellent coverage in every shot. Well done!

Silver is a total bitchface, making fun of the custodian and the cheerleader on her blog. But then Dixon totes lies to her. I see a relationship fail on its way!

Why is Naomi hanging out with her half-bro like he's her bf? I love that we required a flashback, within a half hour of an hour long show, to explain that Annie has a hunch that something is not right. When we had already been told that 100 times. Holy crapfestival.

Rehab is EASY! Adrianna is all better. And she makes Brenda realize the error of her ways. What: HIV scare! rehab is hard. HIV scare over! pregnancy ftw! another show too scared to say abortion?

Dixon goes to a black bev hills party, which includes such guests Dr. Dre and Kobe Bryant and Denzel Washington. Ahem. Phewf, Hot Girl Christina is a Lesbian (part-time). Break-up Fail. I was really ready for Silver and Dixon to be dunzo. Yawn. And now Dixon is singing Amazing Grace. Of course he is. Meanwhile Sean vaguely threatens Annie. YAWN.

Brenda can't have kids. Hmm, if only there was a baby someone didn't want.

Paternity test requested. Sean is gone. Family fail. Also logic fail on Naomi's part: how is it Annie's fault that her dumb mom gave the kid $200,000?

oh man this show is not even so-bad-it's-good anymore. I think I am officially dunzo with New 90210. maybe i'll watch the season finale and try to figure out what happened between this episode and the end of the season. that sounds like more fun than watching the show.

Goodbye. F is for Fail. :(

Monday, January 05, 2009

Spotted: In the Realm of the Basses

How broodingly awesomely awesome is Chuck Bass? The answer is impossibly. Even when he made that weird I'm-stoned-and-dead-inside face. He's so over the top that he's come back down, around the bottom, and landed right where he should be. Absurd and perfect.

This episode, like most Gossip Girl premieres, couldn't live up to my expectations but there was much I adored about it. Both Little J Jenny and Blair realize how over social climbing/Mean Girlism they are. And Blair realizes high school cattiness lasts a lifetime. Really, it does. It's people of all ages who can be crap, not just teenagers.

Rufus was the grumpiest we have EVER seen him, nary a homecooked meal for the children, but five minutes alone with Lily softens him. Aw. And now they are on their journey of Dickensian (thank you, Meester Chuck) proportions.

We learned that hash is a softer high, that Dan is not above internet stalking Serena, that Serena prefers MySpace to Facebook, and that Jenny understands that S is 9 levels hotter than her brother. We also learned that Chuck's uncle Jack? Kinda hott. And kinda a bad ass.

When Dan and Serena decide to be Dan-and-Serena and they kiss, did you notice how freakily pale and creepy Dan's hand was? The hand that went to clutch S's head. Shudder. It was a bit Edward Cullen minus the sexy vampire part. Let's have a minute to rejoice the Aaron Rose arc coming to an end. I fear we may see him again one day since he's B's step-brother, but hopefully only in an awkward moment at graduation or something.

And speaking of old characters making their return, Ms Georgina "Sold My Show Pony for Cocaine" Sparks is set to make a return to the Upper East Side sometime near the end of this season. I was hoping she would be the Rufly love child, but now that child is a boy. Hmm. Maybe Georgie is also secretly a boy? That way Dan would have fooled around with his half-sibling and a dude. An excellent idea! I should totally write scripts for GG.
  • Where were Nate and Vanessa this ep? Making out and being morally superior? You'd think Nate would take some interest in Chuck's downward spiral. Or at least show up for the party at Victrola.
  • Will Dan be able to keep the secret of their half-sib from Serena?
  • What the eff was Blair talking about to Uncle Jack -- Chuck can't know about New Year's Eve? WTF, B?
  • How will the subplots be filled if the girls aren't going to torture each other anymore? (I've heard rumors of plotlines that have to do with actual school stuff -- like classes and extracurriculars. Wha?)
  • Will Derota go to university with Miss Blair? The show cannot survive without her.
Oh and in backstory-fill-in news, the CW Gossip Girl blog had a lame post about how Eric spent Christmas in Montreal (woot!) with his boyfriend Jonathan. So in the previous ep, Lily wasn't going to ditch her son for the holidays to be with Rufus. Eric had plans. Apparently.

And another week to wait... let's watch that "Dear Gossip Girl" video again and again til then.

**update: promo for next week which i have not yet even watched because i am at work.

Dear Gossip Girl

this will get you five minutes closer to tonight's episode and ALSO SO EFFING FUNNY. i am in love with these dudes. if Gossip Girl won't date them, I will.

("Dear Gossip Girl," Southern Mothers ft. Matt Pearson)