Tuesday, December 02, 2008

my 90210pinions: That Which We Destroy

I don't think there was a new New Nine Oh this week, but I did finally watch the last New Nine Oh: "That Which We Destroy." And it picked up right where we left off, with the arrival of the new son in the middle of Annie and Naomi's epic battle.

The new son has the Wilson nose and is one of those patriotic Americans, as Granny Wilson calls him. He's proud to serve his country and so on and so forth. The only slightly funny thing about this whole opening sequence of course belongs to Granny Wilson. She gets Dixon to figure out how old she has to tell people she was when she had Principal Wilson in order for him to have had a son at age 18 who is now 25 years old. The answer: 11. "A little unseemly."

Kelly gives Naomi and Annie the "friends are more important than guys" talk using a metaphor: girlfriends are like plants, and guys are cut flowers. I think this scene was supposed to be funny? Judging by the girls' expressions, it may have smelled funny. I wonder if this whole friendship talk will come into play later when Brenda returns...

Silver continues to make poor wardrobe choices. Silver live blogs lunch. This whole cafeteria lunch business: a total Mean Girls rip off. Annie shows Ethan her bitchy side and he loses his appetite. The lead "blended" girl needs help with her phone, and we, the audience, learn that the real message behind this episode is not about being true to oneself or the importance of friendship and family. The real impetus behind this episode: product placement.
Brenda returns! And I presume is playing Lady MacBeth. Of course she is. And she can recognize an office plant when she sees one.

Granny Wilson tells Momma Wilson a nice story about Jean-Luc and the Chihuahua. Actually a useful, if predictable, little fable.

Naomi is so sexy when she's having a panic attack, according to that guy who keeps showing up and doesn't like game-playing. It's hard making new friends, eh Naomi?

Dixon doesn't care about destroying Bel Air on the lacrosse field because his dad is ignoring him and only paying attention to the new bio-son. The whole coach and disgruntled/distracted player dynamic is making me miss Friday Night Lights in a major way.

Yikes on Silver's two hairdo joke when Annie puts on a skirt that's too short. Really? Non, merci. Stop trying to be risqué, 90210. And don't make Annie take her shirt off all casually, just so viewers at home can see her in her bra. Especially not in the "be yourself" scene.

At the lacrosse game, Audrina mysteriously barfs after smelling a hot dog. And I smell a teen pregnancy plot line. It also smells bad.

Quel surprise. Dixon is playing poorly and New Son is meddling in the business of lacrosse and father/son dynamics. Back off, New Son. New Cheerleader Love Interest sees what is really going on with Dixon while Silver is reading a book, listening to her iPod, and playing with her Rubik's cube. Dixon storms off the field and Coach/Principal/Poppa Wilson confronts him. Finally, Dixon gets a real scene! And is able to raise some good points! Well done. We have been waiting for 12 episodes for a solid father-and-adopted-son conversation and we got it. In the locker room during the big game, no less.

And! Annie finally says something we can all agree on: "I'm not cool." She decides not to be mean anymore. I have not decided that. So, here's some classic Shenae Grimes acting faces:


Oh, I am meaner than Naomi. [Sidebar story: I went to the Geminis last Friday (Cdn Emmys) and Shenae was there to present an award and was up for the people's choice for hottest Canadian on the telly. And she didn't win. As soon as the show went to commercial, she got in the biggest huff and stomp spaz attack, grabbed her leopard-print fur jacket and her little entourage and stomped out of there. It was pretty hilariously spazzy. She made all the faces pictured above and then some.]

I am kind of waiting for the New Son to turn into a total weirdo freakshow and be, like, the Emily Valentine of the show and stalk the Wilsons or something. That would be great. But anyway... Brenda slept with Ryan. Shocker. Don't put the big reveal of the last minute in the promo for the episode, CW.

Now the Wilsons + Sean are all happy times and huggy times. Oh no, wait... Sean is alone and he is raising one eyebrow and making a phone call that could be entirely innocent or entirely diabolical! I vote for diabolical.

The end. Another episode in this pitiful saga comes to a close. Let's hope this Sean kid starts effing shit up!

2 comments:

danah said...

this post is hilarious, shenae grimes looks like she's still on degrassi...not leading role material i don't think. is there a way i can get in touch with you via email by any chance?

Crissy Calhoun said...

thanks! shenae gives me beaucoup to make fun of.

my email is crissycalhoun [at] gmail [dot] com