Friday, October 31, 2008

A Gossip Girl L'Halloween

today me and E and S are all dressed up as Blair Waldorf for l'Halloween. what a lot of work it is to be this prissy, so many bows and pearls and hairbands to negotiate. last year I inadvertently dressed as Blair when my Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles costume ended up with me looking like B holding a pie. maybe next year I'll make it a hat trick of Blair Waldorfizing. A girl can dream.

anywhozy, in the meantime, Nikki pointed me to the EW article announcing that Gossip Girl will not have 22 or 24 episodes this season but 25. TWENTY FIVE.

and here's the trailer for next week. which is like, three days away. OMLittleJ.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

my 90210pinions: there is no place like homecoming

New Nine-Oh returns! I was actually looking forward to this. Is this what my life has become? Third-rate teen dramas are exciting times at the Calhoun Ranch?

Second
Wizard of Oz themed episode title. If only this were Lost, that fact alone would require a blog's worth of analysis. Since it's not...here be my not-quite-live blog of the episode:

OH man I forgot how nice Naomi's plaid shirt was from last episode. Maybe cuz that episode aired years ago.

It's the Homecoming Dance at West Beverly. Annie wonders if Ethan will ask her to go. Really? In 2008, you still have to be asked to the Homecoming dance? You have to wait for the boy to ask you? BOO.

zong, five minutes in and i am very very bored. to pass the time let's look at these serious actor faces:


English teacher is about to say, "Not always about you, is it Naomi?" right after she learns her BFF nearly died of a drug overdose. Nicely played, teacher. And you wonder why these kids are so effed up. The grown-ups suck on this show. (Kelly Taylor and Brenda Walsh obvs excepted.)

Me and Audrina have matching hairdos!

I hate how these characters think Annie is so nice all the time.Ugh. Naomi is filling the now vacant position of best friend with Annie. Hey, I just watched an episode of The O.C. where the new girlfriend (Lindsay) goes out with the old girlfriend (Marissa) and they have a girls night. Same shit here! That ended badly for those girls, but sadly not with Lindsay dead in the ocean.

oh my god, this moment makes the boredom of this episode worthwhile: Naomi's extended bitch sigh as she signs into detention. Next time a courier arrives at work and asks me to sign for something, I'm going to be all, Siiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigh.

New character: hot Spanish-y bad boy. Naomi likes him. He wishes he was the Judd Nelson of West Beverly.

Annie forgot to put her skirt on for her driving lesson.

Navid? What are you doing on the show? You have lines in this episode?

Why does Naomi look so confused when she hears her phone make the text message noise? Is that her first text ever? I think maybe it was.

Silver's wisdom teeth outfit is mental. I loved getting my wisdom teeth out. It was a perfect week of being slightly high all the time, totally allowed, and all i did was watch Firefly, eat instant mashed potatoes, and sleep while my mom and sister took care of me. Fond, fond memories. I should get more teeth removed.

HOLY LOVE OF GOD what is Navid wearing on rehab center visit #2? Does he have a time machine or did he just come from the set of Austin Powers 4?

Twenty-five minutes in: So far Audrina has said two death related things: She can't live with herself and it's killing her (what's she done to Naomi). I am predicting a suicide attempt by the end of the episode. Hey who else is going to see the Haunting of Molly Hartley just to confuse their teen drama realities by having Naomi and Nate Archibald inhabit the same universe?

I don't care if Annie gets her driver's license. Boringtown. This is what happens when you burn through all those plot lines so quickly in the first episodes. We are stuck with driver's ed quizzes with mom.

"AH! Oh wow." Naomi does Annie's makeup for the big dance and Annie looks exactly like she did earlier in the day. (What is that girl wearing? the random background friend who compares wearing thongs to having things put in her butt? Oh no the other one, not Nina. A skin-tight mini dress in terribly colors and cheap-looking fabric.)

Annie is dumb as a post. You go to a dance with a friend and have a grand old time getting ready together with her, she lends you shoes, then immediately upon arriving at the dance (with the 'really great band'), you move in on her high school sweetheart ex-bf. That is a bad move, sisterfriend.

The good thing about Brenda Walsh was that she fucked up, everyone knew it, and she either acknowledged her fuck up or she pouted and carried on as she pleased. Annie is like this intolerably righteous girl who thinks she is soooo nice but really is self-centered. The frustrating thing is that in the 90210verse, you're just supposed to go along with her and think she's a peach. She's not. She's the pits. It's boring and annoying.

Gar! Naomi, close your mouth when you're dancing with Hot Detention Guy! I know you are ASTOUNDED by the new guy's super hotness but you're catching flies, darling. Advice to new guy: calling a girl "pasty" is not the way to her heart.

BEST LINE OF THE EPISODE: The English teacher brings the drugs and Kimberly to the principal. Principal Wilson grabs the drugs from him and says, "OK, I will take these." LOLZtown. The principal's gonna take the drugs. Oh shit. This episode is terrible. Is it over yet?

The Internet tells me that the Druggie Girl Whose Name Starts with A is called Adrianna, not Audrina. Audrina is the brown-haired girl from The Hills with those sparkling white teeth.



I love that Annie is so perplexed about Naomi asking her not to date Ethan. And now she's teaching Naomi the true meaning of friendship...

Ruh-roh. Audrina is getting back with the bad druggie guy! Interception by Navid! A suckerpunch!

New best line! goes to Navid: "In the seventh grade, when you got that sitcom, it was like, I don't even know you anymore." So gritty and real. But, um, I'm kinda liking Navid and Audrina together?

Big surprise, English teacher + the Narc = Make Out. And Annie's resolve to be a good friend to Naomi lasts about 0.23 seconds.

Overall rating: D-. Definitely did not live up to the previous episode's potential and therefore makes me mad and disappointed with it. I am making the facial expression Naomi made at Audrina when she tried to be besties again at the dance. I am looking away ever so slightly, not matching my eyeline and pretending I am totally over this show and its many failings. I wish it would check into rehab and take its recovery seriously. Srsly.

Monday, October 27, 2008

OMGWTFGG: "Pret-a-Poor-J"

Dare I say it? Season two of Gossip Girl is just as good, if not BETTER, than season one.


Enter Aaron Rose. Aaron Rose! Super job with the casting. He's way hotter than the Gossip Girl books' Aaron Rose (way hotter than he was in my mind, i mean) but he still has that alt-vegan-art vibe happening. In the books, Eleanor Waldorf marries Aaron's father Cyrus. Aaron and Serena date, but so do Aaron and Vanessa. And he has a dog named Mookie! Attention to detail appreciated, GG writers. I didn't read those Cecily von Ziegesar books for nuthin!

Right from the opening, this episode is glorious. I always love breakfast at the Humphrey loft and a Nate/Jenny run-in at the bathroom makes it so much better. Make-over week on Gossip Girl totally worked for Little J. Her dress is insanely perfect, as is her hair. "Shorter, blonder, I got bored." Ya, right. You casually invented a coherently awesome grown-up look for yourself.

Let's relive the Glorious Glory that was "Pret-a-Poor-J."
  • Blair to Serena, re: Dan: "You hear the judgment in his voice?" Yes. Yes, we do.
  • Dan's excellent plan for B to win Chuck: "Drive him crazy and wear him down. You should be good at that."
  • Chuck to Blair, on her new perfume: "Smells a little like desperation" and then he leaves, "I'm bored. You ruined my pants."
  • Blair to Dan: "I can skip dinner because I am so full of humiliation." Zong. I hate that full of humiliation feeling.
  • More Chuck puns! with B's Chuck was out of there "like a Bass out of hell."
  • Points to Gossip Girl: "You can't take a note to the principal when a drunken model eats your homework."
  • Serena retort to Blair's jump-off-the-gallery-roof comment: "Oh B, don't do that. You don't want your obit to say you died in Brooklyn."
  • The secondary embarrassment factor going THROUGH THE ROOF times a million when Nate walks in on J's bra dance party. This is what teen dramas are for: the awkward.
  • Um, the last scene?? Holy shiz, as much as it's weird to watch 15-year-old Taylor Momsen make out with 23-year-old Chace Crawford, I was so jazzed to see Nate and Jenny having a kissy good time! Remember last year when they totally connected on the night of B's birthday and talked all night? Remember when he kissed her, but thought she was Serena? Remember when she walked in on him and he was all in his towel? They are a way better couple than Nate and Vanessa.
Speaking of...

Poor, poor Vanessa. The writers are giving her NOTHING to work with. She is just crusty and misinformed all the time. And giving Dan shit for "inviting" Blair to her opening? She says, "my opening." Not your opening. It's Aaron's, maybe Rufus's. Boooooooo. She could be such a good character and she's just being wasted. I think it's time for Dan and Vanessa to get together and be awesome for a while. Eat perogies at Veselka. See 400 Blows at the Sunshine. Do those things that we can't see Chuck and Blair do.

While I'm complaining, Serena's outfit she wore to the gallery (in the day): it was barf-party-boringtown. I would wear that. I don't want to see any outfits on any Gossip Girl characters that I could put together from my own closest, K? Luckily she picks it up with the gallery opening outfit. It's a bit boobcentric but I love the leather jacket and the color of her dress. Behold and judge the two gallery outfits:



Chuck and Blair at the movies. Chuck and Blair holding hands. Chuck is right: Chair or Bluck or whatever you wanna call 'em wouldn't work as a happy couple. Even Pam and Jim have to have tension, and Chuck and Blair would be totally weird. But still... Heartbreak City.

And B's one tear? Leighton Meester is a goddamn genius. Blair is a hard character to play exactly right and she hits every moment.

What will happen with Chuck and Blair now?? Endless game playing? Maybe a bit of a break from the incessant back and forth and some other plot lines for these kids? Sigh. Will Blair ever get to be happy? Has she been happy for one full episode?

And will Little J actually start her own clothing line? I would totally buy her clothes. You know, if she wasn't a fictional character.

Zong. I love this show and maybe have lost my mind a bit? GG ftw.

Sunday, October 26, 2008

but i am the chosen one.

i didn't care much for Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince the book but this trailer is flipping awesome:



(or Watch it here.) via KamikazeKitty!

Be Don Draper

Thursday, October 23, 2008

privileged: all about appearances

ew, i just looked up the episode title for this week's Privileged and they are all "All About Insert-Theme of the Week-Here." boo boring. The show itself? I still like it!

Megan Smith, tutor extraordinaire, was getting on my nerves about halfway through this episode: she talks so much, so quickly, about herself and at first it's so cute and quirky and look at all your insecurities! And then it doesn't stop and I feel like a wrathful combo of Charlie and Sage wanting her to button it and get over herself.


However, she won me over again by realizing how self-centered she was being and making peace with chili dogs (and not making a stink over her breakup or his cancellation on the phone). And now that I'm into season two of The O.C., I know that Charlie is that guy that dated Summer! What's his face! Ducky?

Some people (Megan and Charlie) need to start respecting the fact that the Chef Guy Marco has a job to do, so don't bug him when he's in the middle of making a feast and don't shove a box full of stuff into his arms when he's already carrying a platter of sandwiches! Cmon people. I expect that behavior from Sage or Laurel. But even Rose knows to respect Marco.

The Sage and Rose Model for their Granny plotline was very Gossip Girl last season ("Bad News Blair"). You just know it's not going to work out (so stop bragging to Precious, Sage). And to drag Noted Fashion Photographer Nigel Barker into a bad, bad photoshoot? Not really fair to the caliber of his work, CW. And not really plausible that Grandma Laurel wouldn't just try to act more cuddly in the next photo shoot and also get to know her granddaughters better whilst they spend four weeks together...

Also, as a general note, the wardrobe on the two girls needs some vast improvement. They have NO style whatsoever.

Glad the writers got rid of the Headmaster Love Interest. Three eligible bachelors for Megan was one too many. Also happy that Emily ex-gf turned out to be a former student. In her first scene, I thought, hmmm a little young, non? Yes, yes, she has "teen" in her age.

The preview for next week looks kinda awesome: the return of the bracelet-stealing Lily (oh man it's hard to keep these names straight) along with her sorta BF, the hot billionaire next-door, and the estranged father. More bugging Marco while he's trying to work. That man has an endless supply of patience.



now i have that little do-do-doo Privileged theme song in my head. The CW is really bringing it on this season: Gossip Girl, Privileged, 90210 (which is terrible, yes, but also...), Supernatural (which I don't watch cause I'm saving for later on DVD), and America's Next Top Model (which I don't watch anymore but still love and cherish like an old boyfriend who I still have a little bit of feeling for...you bug me and bore me, ANTM, but sometimes you delight me).

oh man i think i am already overcaffeinated and it's only 9:30 a.m....

Wednesday, October 22, 2008

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Cyber Britney


i know i'm all Britney all the time these days but: let me tell you how excellent it is now that there's a proper website for her. After years (i think literally years) of "coming soon," BritneySpears.com has new content every day, pictures and video from Britney, blogging from Team Britney, and all sorts of goodies like Twittering and news about magazine covers and videos. I am a happy fan.

Monday, October 20, 2008

Gossip Girl, Je t'aime: Chuck in Real Life

Tights are not pants.

Another excellent and implausibly plotted episode! The writers seem happy to add in potential love connections every week and I, for one, am happy to see who has chemistry. So instead of an episode recap, let's talk BFs and GFs, who we've already seen together and what that leaves for potential future hook-ups...

Nate + Blair: With the exception of the sex scene post-cotillion, these two were ho-hum together. Their love was pure and friendshippy. My money's on them at least having one more go before the end of the series, but it'll be a fail. Not a mechanical fail, B, just no sparks.

Nate + Serena: Remember how at the beginning of season 1, Nate was totally in love with Serena? And kissed Jenny at the masked ball thinking she was S? Then remember how that plot was dropped like a hot potato? Nate had to go back to being in love with B (since she no longer needed him) and his love for S has since been friendship only.

Nate + Vanessa: Show V some vulnerability beneath an Upper East Side facade and she is putty in your hands. Nate accomplished this with a dad in rehab and a friendly rapport with the waitstaff at a Greek restaurant in Brooklyn. These two were kinda weird together and it was even weirder when Nate was all, "You and me forever, V," in the Vanessa-discovers-he's-sleeping-with-the-Duchess episode. One misunderstanding and the relationship is totally over. Then the next week(ish), he's picking up Márquez-reading Yalies. Nate falls in and out of love rather easily, don't ya Natie?

Nate + Jenny: Nate is 17, Jenny is 15. Totally plausible in the real teenager world. They've already kissed once (par accident), they've had loads of good chats (like on B's bday), and she's turned to him when she's in trouble (the kind of trouble where you steal a one-of-a-kind Valentino dress and need thousands of dollars to get it back). And now with Nate living at the Humphrey Loft? Dan would freak the frak out. Speaking of...

Nate + Dan: How cute was Dan this week making his soccer date with Nate? Poor guy really has no friends besides V and his family. The slash fiction just writes itself with D and N sleeping under the same roof.

Dan + Serena: The scene of D and S on the steps of Nate's seized townhouse was so lovely. Those two are good people. Obviously they will get back together one day, hopefully this season. (Though too much make-up/break-up would get tiresome.)

Dan + Vanessa: We've never even seen these two kiss, right?

Dan + Blair: In the words of B, "Ew."

Chuck + Serena: There was the attempt in first episode when he attacked her in the Palace Hotel kitchen and she kicked him in the nuts. And now they're step-siblings. Don't think it's gonna happen.

Chuck + Jenny: Also in the Chuck-Is-a-Sexual-Predator pilot episode, flirtation led to sexual assault. Let's hope the writers never go here again. Ever.

Chuck + Blair: True love? If only one of them could say those three words, eight letters, five vowels and three consonants...

(is Y a consonant or a vowel? i am not smarter than a fifth grader.)

Chuck + Vanessa: The new couple of the week. I don't mind this pairing, actually. If she could bring out all the goodness we know is in Chuck, and keep saying things like, "You deserve better," (re: evil Bart Bass), maybe C could be the good boy for a few episodes. Then V would reveal she's not over Dan (or Nate or both) and Chuck would revert to total badassery. Chuck could use some time in Brooklyn at the old-timey hip gangster club with Vanessa and the Tells-It-Like-It-Is man.

Have I missed any potential hookups? The Rufus + Vanessa connection seems to have cooled into an implausible take-advice-from-a-teenager situation. Thank the gods. When will Rufus and Lily get back together? The happy family scene of Lily, Eric, Serena, and Bart (sans Chuck) was a bit too saccharine for my taste. Serena, trust your instincts about that Bart character. He is totally bad news.

One thing that totally bugged me about Eric not bringing his new BF to the housewarming party. Eric explains to Serena that Bart didn't tell him not to bring the boyfriend but suggested maybe he didn't want to come out in a national magazine. Eric is already out. Georgina spilled the beans to his family. And then Eric announced it really publicly at Asher's party. So his family knows. His friends and schoolmates know. Everyone who reads Gossip Girl knows. What does he care if In Style subscribers know? Bart Bass is looking out for himself and I don't think Eric would have fallen for it.

Still M.I.A.: Hazel. Did I miss some reference to her leaving for good? Or are we supposed to quietly forget about her? I never had much time for her but a throwaway line about where she is would've been nice.

Anywhozy: any favorite couples? Vanessa should be with (a) D, (b) N, or (c) C? ...

**Update: the GG episode titles are always punny, but next week's takes the cake: "Pret-a-Poor Jenny."

Saturday, October 18, 2008

Chuck + the Other B

guess why i doubly-super love this promo...

Friday, October 17, 2008

daccia and dora

A real post on this book, which is vair importante to me, later but in the meantime, you can read about Daccia and her adventures in writing:

Daccia profiled at She Does the City
Daccia profiled at Mondo

Her warning not to become a writer unless you have to is eerily (and i am sure unintentionally) similar to Madonna's about becoming a singer/pop star.

Daccia and Madonna, man, cut from the same cloth.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Me and Mamma Spears

Twill come as no surprise to y'all that when Lynne Spears announced she was writing a book, I resolved to buy and read it. After all, I have her novel, which she co-wrote with Britney, A Mother's Gift.

And of course, I have been a true blue Britney fan and supporter since her first single. I've had to do a lot of explaining in the past few years as my non-Britney loving friends turn to me to say, She is totally trashy and crazy. Then I have to say, Everyone has their Crazy Days. I had mine. And if I were Britney, I would have gone crazier, meaner, and faster living her life.

I don't read a lot of books like Through the Storm, celebrity memoir I guess. The last one I read, and found fascinating, was Katie Price's. Lynne's is a wee bit different.

Admitting my strong predisposition to be fascinated by this book, I think it's actually an interesting read. Lynne's life is — until the kids become famous — so normal and at the same time, troubled. The kind of life that I don't really ever read about. She loves her family, she loves her husband and suffers living with his alcoholism. She seems like a certain someone's former mother-in-law: loving, always busy, God loving, and a firecracker. Add to that a Southern drawl and talk of shrimp cookouts in Kentwood.

Then the two daughters (she also has a son Brian) become famous. The book is by no means a tell-all, there are no deep-dark secrets revealed. But you do get an insight into what it's like to live in the circus of paparazzi, why family secrets have to be kept (Jamie Lynn's pregnancy news from Britney), how trusting any outsider is nearly impossible.

And there's little bits in there about the Brit/Justin break-up (break my little heart) and how when Brit hit the paparazzo's car with the umbrella she was living out Lynne's fantasy (awesomesauce). How Lynne wishes Britney would sing with her "real voice" and not be so overproduced.

It's very sentimental but because she is so earnest, it's the kind of cheese I love. And that, um, may have made me cry? To wit:

When I think of the sibling relationships in my family, so many pictures and stories come to my mind:
- My brother, Sonny, and I taking turns riding Wishbone, our horse, in the pasture.
- Britney gazing in adoration at her baby sister, holding her blanketed bundle with all the care and attention of a mother.
- Sandra [Lynne's sister] sizing up the fact that my family would have little or no gifts under our tree one year, calling up Connie's Jewelers in town and authorizing a five-hundred-dollar line of credit for me to buy Christmas gifts.
- Britney and Jamie Lynn, at ages twenty-two and twelve, wearing Halloween masks and flinging Sonic milk shakes at paparazzi who had gathered in Kentwood after Britney and Kevin got married.
- Preston and Jayden, uncertainty written all over their innocent baby faces, clasping hands in the backseat of their mama's car as what seemed like a million flashbulbs went off all around them. Though they couldn't articulate it, they were reaching out to each other, offering the comfort and strength of their brotherhood to each other.

Could you imagine being both a mom to two girls who are so scrutinized and also the grandmother to three kids who will grow up with paparazzi stalking their every move? Shudder. So ya, I know it's cheesy; I know I'm cheesy. But Through the Storm? Totally a good book. You can borrow my copy.

(p.s. that photo of Britter's kids is one she released to a magazine, not a leaked by a cash-grabber pic.)

hair choppers

i just got my hair cut and imma gonna tell you alllll about it. normally i go to Krazy Kuts, known in French as Coupe Bizzarre, but some time ago they stopped doing what i consider the best part of getting your hair chopped: the hair washing. Instead they straighten and cut. Fine.

Right near my house is the Aveda Institute for Hair Choppery, or something like that, and rumour had it that students cut your hair for cheap. Rumour had it right. I went over today since I am on hols. I opted for an experienced student ($35), as opposed to an absolute newbie (cheaper) or an "educator" (more expensive).

So we figured out what kind of a haircut I should get (an awesome one) and then Step One was revealed: a head massage with some Aveda aromatherapy type stuff. I have a cold so the smell was far from overpowering, just perfectly nice, and completely relaxing. Head massage! Then it was hair washing time. My favourite part. Mainly cause it's a head massage. More awesome smelling stuff. I am now in a total trance.


An offer of a beverage. Some chopping. Some straightening. Some chopping. More good smelling stuff. A consult with the educator and we're done. She may have been a student but she was certainly professional and didn't doddle. At one point, the comb slipped from her hand and onto the floor. So she picked it up and went and got a new one. Cleanliness!

And at the very, very end (after she tried, successfully, to push Aveda products on me), she said, Time for the finishing touch. And applied some red lippy! Look out, world. I have a new haircut that makes me feel like a robot and some glossy lips.

Two thumbs up for me!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Humdrum Humphrey

Hey, Class of West Bev! Repeat of new Nine-Oh tonight...and I am actually a little disappointed? What is up with that? Likely no new episode since today is the federal election in Canadia and the Yanks are being all respectful-like.

Don't make me choose between CW shows about teenagers and the fate of my nation; you know what I'll choose.


Now you may note I did not blog on last night's episode of Gossip Girl ("New Haven Can Wait"). That is because I have a cold and my head feels like something so dense and impenetrable it is unable to think up similes. metaphors. fucked if i know! but let me tell you these things about GG:

  • I like Nate Archibald a lot more this season than last. (besides, yes Damage Creasey, the part in the episode where Nate said Dan was "pretty cool," thus becoming the dorkiest person since Kevin Costner told Madonna that her Blonde Ambition tour was "neat.")
  • As implausible as it may be, I really like the Jenny Runs the Atelier plotline. Maybe because I wish I had been an uber talented and petulant 15 year old. In reality, I was only petulant and utterly directionless.
  • The jacket Serena wore to Yale is magnificent.
  • I kinda expected the Blair v. Serena battle to wage a little longer and a little more elegantly.
But my main thing with this episode: the Internet is ruining the plot for me! It's nearly impossible not to see photos in newspapers, magazines, on blogs, of the cast filming and that ruins episodes WAY in advance. Of course, it's the nature of the show since so much of it is filmed on location. But wah. The Blair/Serena throwdown? I'd already seen stills of it so I knew it was gonna happen, and frankly, it was way more hilarious and tense in my head than it was in last night's episode. I am a total spoilerphobe and maybe need to go live at the SlaughterHouse, free from the perils of the webternet.

Anywaysy. Back to Season 2 of the O.C. (until Privileged is on at 9, obvs). The O.C. hasn't been so crazy disappointing in its sophOmore year...

Tuesday, October 07, 2008

my 90210pinions: Hollywood Forever

Another Tuesday, another episode of 90210. and this week, I must give credit where credit is due: it was totally watchable...for an episode of new Nine Oh.

And now the recap. What this show is short on: characters! So welcome Kimberly! You are so mean and saucy! Are you here to flirt with the English teacher?


Oh, the old babysit-a-fake-baby plotline. Did they do this on Veronica Mars? It was on something recently, and was much funnier. I actually had to babysit an egg when I was in grade six. We were single parents (no awkward pairing with my crush), and I had to take the egg to the bowling alley for gym class.

Adriana and Naomi have a kinda nice scene as BFFs. Principal KansasWalsh and Mom-to-Naomi finally talk about their love child. Annie's audition for the horror movie is so BAD that Audriana's coked-out audition is better. Yup. I agree casting agent: I would never hire that girl to act in anything cuz she sux.

Commercial break and we're back with my favorite pop song of the moment: "Hot n Cold" by Katy Perry. Naomi pretends to be over Ethan as E and Annie hang out at the Peach Pit, not drinking Dr. Pepper. Did Dr. P cancel its product placement deal? They appear to be drinking iced tea.

Over at Kelly Taylor's apartment: Silver is painting ONE of Kelly's living-room walls black! When Kelly's only gone for two weeks?? Silver is so alternative and cool. She likes horror movies and knows lots of annoying trivia and paints things black. She is, like Grandma Wilson, letting her "freak flag fly."

Back with Principal Wilson and NaomiMum. Totally yawn-worthy conversation about whether or not to hire the P.I. to find the birth son. Maybe they will hire Keith Mars! He's the best in the business. I think Principal Wilson is my least favorite character on the show. Second least; forgot about Annie for a blessed second. Whoops.

Naomi and Audriana's stage mom have a nice little chat about how Naomi could look better with straight hair (maybe?) over some iced tea. (More iced tea. What is up with this ep?) Audriana is totally off celebrating, Dina Lohan–wannabe mom. Celebrating by doing lines of cocaine off a dashboard. Not sexy, guys. Coke is not sexy. You can tell because A's hair is all messy and her eyes are all red. She needs more than Visine to clean that look up. She needs an intervention in the quad.

K, so it's only 15 minutes into the episode and I'm kinda enjoying it. It's way better than last week's. Maybe the new Nine-Oh kids needed Kelly Taylor to bugger off in order to shine.

Dixon does not like horror movies. Oh man, he fell asleep and is late for his curfew and he didn't even get to bust out his four-year-old wallet condom! Grandma is roaming the halls of the Wilson mansion carrying Pepto and booze. Excellent. Why is WilsonMom freaking out? Dixon has a cell phone. She could CALL him and say get your ass home. Cultural reference fail with the "Baby in the corner" joke -- kind of the first time the actual lameness of the parents has been adequately appreciated by the kids and grandma.

Silver continues to be oh-so-countercultural: who invites their English teacher/sister's ex-bf to their cemetary half-birthday party? What the eff? Who says "rents" anymore? Who ever said it without a heavy ironic tone?

Naomi's mom (her name is Tracy!) has one really weird eye. Also she's hot for principal. I did not see that coming. At all. What a surprise. New girl Kim is really hot for teacher. And says, "Touché." (Who says, "Touché"?)

I don't get New Girl Kim's deal. She talks too much, thinks she's clever, misbehaves and is looking for party favors? Oh. Maybe I just got her deal. She is a narc undercover! She and the English teacher will totally have a relationship and we'll think it's creepy but then! we'll find out she's a grown-up. That would be a good plot, non?


Cops raid the high school. Does that happen in real life? Naomi needs to learn how to be stealthy. Staring down a cop while obviously hiding something in your hands is a fail. She basically did the tip-toe cat burglar walk into the girls bathroom. Sigh.

Naomi and Audriana have a heart-to-heart in N's ransacked bedroom. They are both wearing plaid shirts. Naomi's red plaid shirt is actually kinda nice. I would wear that in a second. Audriana, on the other hand, has a crazy bad hairdo and ugly shirt. Audriana is totally bailing on N since her mom is pretty crappy at being a mom! Here's a cake but you can't have any, fatty! BTW, we are so broke.

Poor Ramones! Silver loves them. Boo. The forced joviality between the friend gang is tiresome. Pas de chemistry amongst these youngsters.

Why does Principal Walsh tell his wife everything? I would not have told my wife that my ex tried to make out with me in my office. (Oh. Is that why I'm single?) His wife should move back to Kansas if she misses it so much.

Naomi's expression when she realizes Audriana's not coming and she may go to juvie: the best face she's made since she saw her dad making out with the mistress. It's like she may barf and she's really angry but she's still trying to look sexy all at the same time. It's magical, really. I'm going to try to make that reaction face next time someone tells me something life changing. It will totally ruin the moment.

OMG, I was SO right about the narc business!

How annoying are Annie and Ethan to be talking about Brangelina and how they are not-dating during the movie? I would shush them a lot. And who gets up at the very last minute of Psycho and runs over to their friends helping to ruin a near kissy moment? Geez.

OK. The ending of the episode? Kinda good! Was that a weird cover of that "Smile Like You Mean It" song by the Killers? I liked it. The two close-ups of Audriana with her shirt off while the medics try to bring her back to life? Unnecessary! But not surprising! Anyway, it was a good mix of scary-medic-time and Naomi leaving that "you're dead to me" voicemail for her. Nice job, Team NineOh! A great set-up for more Naomi reaction shots next week.

Overall rating: B+! Best episode since the pilot. A total upturn for the show, I must say. There were enjoyable moments. In the world of TV, still total crap, still not really worth watching, but in the world of this show: congratulations!

But if this show is still on next season on the CW, and Privileged is not? I will have cause to make Naomi's barfy-angry-sexy face.

Thursday, October 02, 2008

turn that frown upsidedown

(that's not a smile, that's an upsidedown frown.)

SO my TV pal who knows all, Ms. Nikki Stafford, tells me that A Channel is airing Pushing Daisies on Tuesday nights at 8. What is with the A Channel playing all my favourite shows this season and ahead of their American broadcast? I love you, A Channel.

But I love Nikki more! as she recorded last night's episode of Pushing Daisies for me. And I still have pie left. I did not eat the whole thing last night.

So Pushing Daisies after Derek McCormack's launch tonight for The Show that Smells. Double lurve.

Wednesday, October 01, 2008

:(

last week i ordered season one of pushing daisies from the internet and waited to watch it.

tonight i stopped at the grocery store on my way home and bought a mini pie. a pie-lette, if you will.

i got home. i put the pie in the oven and the season finale of Pushing Daisies season 1 in the playstation. in preparation.

now it's time for me to watch the premiere of season 2 of Pushing Daisies. the show is on RIGHT NOW. but my cable connection, just to ABC, is so shitty that the show is a pixelated choppy mess and impossible to watch. And CTV isn't airing the show. thank you Rogers. and thank you mean-spirited Rogers tech support man on the phone.

So. Instead of watching the Pie Maker and Lonely Tourist Charlotte Charles, I am pouting.

Is there a pouting emoticon? I would like to use it right here: ____.