Monday, April 30, 2007

Morphy the Super Daemon

thanks to those of you who have morphed my daemon. to those who haven't: i really liked it when it was a lion.... Even if you haven't read The Golden Compass (if not, why not?), make your daemon. It's frakkin wicked. (As long as you are a nerd.)

I wish that there was a hoodie to wear for any and every occasion. (Except swimming.)

Forbes and I have a new shelf in our living room, courtesy of R., and it's now standing up securely (uneven floor). Let's have a little bit of show and tell. For Chrimbo, Forbes gave me a Jack from Lost doll. He came with a little box that talks: "...We're going to have a Locke problem..." "Everyone wants me to be a leader until I make a decision that they don't like." And of course, "If we
can't live together, we're gonna die alone." Anywho. Jack used to sit up on my bookshelf. Now he lives on the new bookshelf. But he has a friend, or rather an enemy, next to him.

One day when Adam was very very sleep deprived (studying and all that) he crafted the smoke monster from
Lost. For those of you who don't watch the show, this is the smoke monster:


Yikes, right?

Here is Adam's artistic rendition of the mysterious smoke monster:
Yikes, right? Smoke Monster a la Forbes is also a hand puppet. (And yes, that is Conspiracy Theory hidden among my DVDs.)

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Saturday, April 28, 2007

avacado

at the iga in the beaches, they always have perfect avocados -- ready to eat that very day, no waiting for it to ripen while you have guacamole dreams. when the cashiers ring them in, the computers spell avocados with 3 a's. so now when i think of a perfect avocado, i spell it avacado. (and if you think the word too many times like i just did, it loses all meaning.)

what is going on? tash r. and i had a cocktail +
Angel eve yesterday. we watched "lineage" -- the wicked wesley-focused ep. where he deals with his lost-esque daddy issues. one of my fabbity fav moments in Angel on the roof at the end. booyah.

the third buffy comic comes out this week and i am uber-jazzed for it. also veronica mars returns but i may be out at trivia night with sarah d. if tash & i can pull together a team that includes a music genius. the return of Heroes was wicked for me. it means i won't watch the bachelor in desperation anymore. thank jebus.

i started reading Veronica by
Nicholas Christopher but will be putting it down to reread Joyland (a power pellet, a prize) for book club. in case you wondered. i know you didn't.

many of my pals are in the final days of a year at schule: so to them, good luck and/or congratulations. i've been thinking lately how i miss doing math and science. that and being underwater. things i enjoyed immensely in days gone by that i rarely do now. easily remedied i know -- go for a swim and pick up a workbook to teach myself long division.

ah one more thing. i was reading my high-school/first yr journal booky the other night and came across this scrawled in a corner: "He had been warned that Paris was full of dangerous rivers." I think it was on a postcard of a man standing in a shark-infested flooded paris street. At all familiar to anyone? it was really a good postcard (as you can tell from the description). i wish i could find it.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

goog alert

i am tired.

i am reading Veronica -- cool but confusing and wintery.

i am soon going to listen to shiny toy guns' album we are pilots for the very first time.

i received my first issue of shameless in the mail today.

i am [lost spoiler] hoping the writers of Lost at least have Sun discuss the option of an abortion considering she and her fetus are gonna die on that island. unless god or jacob or the rescue team step in. right.

i am thinking about apostrophe.

Monday, April 23, 2007

If I'm going to tell you about it, I have to start back in 1951

SKY GILBERT and ZOE WHITTALL in conversation with MAGGIE MACDONALD
Host: ELVIRA KURT


SKY GILBERT – Brother Dumb (ECW Press)

ZOE WHITTALL – Bottle Rocket Hearts (Cormorant Books)

Wed, May 2, 7:30-10pm (doors 7pm), free

Gladstone Hotel Ballroom, 1214 Queen St W, Toronto

Free, more info: www.pagesbooks.ca ; 416-598-1447


Pages Books & Magazines, ECW Press, Cormorant Books, and NOW presents a This Is Not A Reading Series double launch! Sky Gilbert and Zoe Whittall in conversation with Maggie MacDonald. See short films based on Brother Dumb and Bottle Rocket Hearts. Get your books signed! Hosted by Elvira Kurt.


BROTHER DUMB is the memoir of a reclusive American literary icon. Brother Dumb is a how-to manual for meaningful critical engagement with the real world. Brother Dumb is a celebration of innocence, youth, and altruism. Brother Dumb is a true story of self-imposed exile. . . . Brother Dumb is also a work of fiction. Brother Dumb begins in the mid-40s, but spans decades, delving deep into the five tortured relationships that have shaped one writer's psycho-sexual history — but it also details his bitter literary decline and withdrawal from public life. Brother Dumb is a misanthrope. His withdrawal from the world is as famous, or infamous, as his writing — something that he takes great pains to explain is not a desperate cry for attention. Attention is the last thing Brother Dumb wants. So why publish this memoir? Why expose himself to a world of stupid, lecherous, greedy, evil, and calculating people? Because he can't not write. And because, somewhere out there, a kindred soul might actually be reading. . . .

SKY GILBERT is an outspoken gay activist. A writer, director and drag queen extraordinaire, Gilbert was the artistic director of Buddies in Bad Times Theatre (North America's largest gay and lesbian theatre) in Toronto for 18 years. Since leaving in 1997, he has published four novels, two books of poetry, four plays, and a memoir. Recently, he received both The Margo Bindhardt Award from the Toronto Arts Foundation and the ReLit Award for his fourth novel, An English Gentleman. Gilbert holds the University Research Chair in Creative Writing and Theatre Studies at the University of Guelph.


ABOUT BOTTLE ROCKET HEARTS: Welcome to Montreal in the months before the 1995 referendum. Riot Grrl gets bought out and mass marketed as the Spice Girls, and gays are gaining some legitimacy, but the queers are rioting against assimilation, cocktail AIDS drugs are starting to work, and the city walls on either side of the Main are spray-painted with the words YES or NO. It's been five years since the OKA crisis and the sex garage riots; revolution seems possible, when you're 18, like Eve. Eve is pining to get out of her parents' house in Dorval and find a girl who wants to kiss her back. She meets Della -- mysterious, defiantly non-monogamous, an avid separatist and ten years older. Initially taken in by a mutual other-worldly sense of rapture, they hole up in Della apartment, trying to navigate spaces of jealousy. On the night of the 1995 referendum, politics and romance come to a head and Eve's naiveté begins to fade. From naive teenager to hot shot rough girl, Even decides her own fate.

ZOE WHITTALL, originally from Montreal, where she attended Concordia University, now lives in Toronto. Her previous books include The Emily Valentine Poems and The Ten Best Minutes of Your Life , both volumes of poetry. She edited the anthology Geek, Misfits & Outlaws. She has written for The Globe and Mail, the National Post, and NOW Magazine.


MAGGIE MACDONALD is an award-winning playwright, artist and musician. She has toured internationally as a member of the bands The Hidden Cameras and The Republic of Safety. McGilligan Books published her first novel Kill the Robot in 2005. She lives in Toronto.


A Toronto native and alumna of Second City, ELVIRA KURT is an accomplished comedian who hosts her own TV program in Canada, has starred in an acclaimed Comedy Central half-hour special, has earned multiple nominations as College Comedian Of The Year, and has countless other TV credits as a comic, actress, host, writer - often on gay-lesbian shows.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

sing me to sleep

on wednesday i was early to visit tash (for antm and lost and pizza), so i wandered into this ain't the rosedale, saw rick c., and bought 3 books. bottle rocket hearts i started reading right away and am mere pages from the end. (it is easier to lug around in my bag than joyland, which may turn into a read-at-home book.) with some novels, i just get a foggy, vague picture of its world but with this one i can see every bit perfectly -- people and places and the light and the season. vivid. i like books to be read more than once so if anyone would like to borrow my copy, i'll be done momentarily.

i really do need to get my tattoo soonsoonsoon. once oluh is done her 'zam and school for the yr, i'll get on her to draw it up. brillbrillbrillo.

what else? i tidied up my room and am doing laundry. wouldn't mention either except both desperately needed doin. had a lovely brunchers w/ nadine yesterday at le petit dejeuner.

lately i've had random songs popping into my head that i can't get out. like "walk the dinosaur." and this weekend it's that alanis song "head over feet," if that's what it's called. (the one with "you held my hand and the door for me" -- that's the part stuck in my head. so you can imagine to what level of nutso it's driving me.)

erino & tash & i were thinking up our lists of top 5 albums we listen to all the way thru, no skipping songs whatsoever, and we never grow tired of them. new albums (like knives don't have your back for me) don't count cause they have not yet withstood the test of time.

what i've come up with: from the choirgirl hotel (tori amos), ray of light (madonna), let it bleed (rolling stones). my last two were achtung baby and spice but i really only listen to those two on rare occasions so i'm bumping them. i feel like i'm forgetting something quite essential. what are yours?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

edition #978: things i like

i finished reading Degrees of Nakedness par Lisa Moore and again, loved it. Open & DofN are a bit mashed together in my head since I read them back to back to back. Next up is our book club book: Joyland by Emily Schultz. I read it back when it was in pages but have not read it in a book format, and not outside of the office. So that shall be new.

over the weekend, i saw Blades of Glory. Twice. it should come as no surprise that i loved that movie. i like dumb jokes. and the entire cast. mind-bottlingly funny.

i don't often talk about make-up but this weekend i finally spent the sephora gift certificate i got for chrimbo. i had gone into that store 9,000 times and was over- & underwhelmed and left empty-handed. i finally cracked it on saturday. i am wearing some nice new pink lip gloss. it's a good one -- nice colour & texture & doesn't smell like baby whores. so there. hurrah for my new lippy.

Lost was not the greatest for me earlier this year, right when I was in the Battlestar Galactica marathon. So it's not exactly fair to compare. However. The last few episodes have kicked ass and I am eagerly awaiting the next installment tomorrow eve. I think and hope that the wrap-up to this season will be awesome-bossome-opossum.

now we ecwers are off to the launch for Rifke: An Improbable Life over at Le Quattre Seasons. So I must be signing off. more lates.

xo
calhouner

Monday, April 16, 2007

rose ceremony

i would suck as a contestant on the bachelor for so many reasons. i can't drive a racecar. (well, any kinda car.) and i wouldn't be "moved to be the best i can be" by the dude's military lifestyle. and i wouldn't want to go in the mud pool with six other girls and smear mud on the bachelor. or date a guy with very distractingly weird teeth.

i really don't like this show but i can't. stop. watching. it.


help.

please.

he just said he thought one of the contestants (tessa) was "wife material." what does that even meeeeaaaaaan?

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

abandonblog

well, hello. long time no.

what can i tell ya? i finished reading open (and returned it to the TPL on time, y'alls). it continued to kick ass to the very very end. the last story in it, "grace," reminded me of "the dead," the last story in the dubliners. (that is a very good story. achy good. maybe time for a rereading.)

why don't i read more short story collections? good ones, i mean. not bad ones. no time for those. short stories are kinda perfect for commuting and before-bed reading and all the kind of bits of reading i find myself doing these days. and there's always those few longish stories in a collection so you can get all the way in and walk around for a while before the end. hurrah for short story collections. Sarah D. was kind enough to bring me degrees of nakedness par ms. lisa moore. so that is next up on the list. [i wonder if all this lisa moore talk will lead to another comment about how audio books of her titles are available. it happened last time. oh search engines. you continue to creep me out.]

quoi d'autre? i spent the long weekend not in church or hunting for eggs, but visiting my grandmere in ottawa. something we all should do more often. unless your g'ma lives somewhere else. then it doesn't make sense to go to ottawa. she won't be there. i took my camera and forgot to use it. so please just imagine me with my family having a nice if not somewhat claustrophobic time.

i thought this friday (april 13th) was my name day but now the internets are confusing me with all their differing information. so i don't know when to celebrate it. on the plus side, i have just learned that my name (cristina) means "the anointed one," which translates in the Buffyverse to "the annoying one."

i'm thinking about switching fonts here on the calhoun tribune from this to this. what do you think? it's just a little curlier and nicer, i think, than boring old verdana. we'll see. i don't want to alienate my few readers with such a drastic change.

other things you may or may not be interested to know:

  1. my room is messy.
  2. my roommate is out buying me a london fog and he has a cold and a lot of homework to do...ummm, i'm the one who's supposed to be out, non?
  3. i am getting addicted to facebook and it's all R.Gedds fault.
  4. my back aches like a muthafrakker from sleeping on a crapeaux pull-out couch and then sitting in a car forever.
  5. i have missed the last two episodes of America's Next Top Model and have seen the last two episodes of The Bachelor and am really not pleased about that.
  6. i don't know how to make those numbers smaller and they are tooooo bigggggg.
  7. i need a haircut badbadbadly.
  8. i hate the shirt i'm wearing a lot. it's pink and dumb but the concept of it is really promising so i keep trying it out and it keeps failing.
  9. for the past two days i thought it might be nice to have a boyfriend type person but i bet i don't really want one. if i go with past behavioural patterns.
  10. next week is the london book fair & i wish i was going because i would get to see claireygee and have an adventure. i am, however, going on a workey trip to nyc in june and that will be nice too.
  11. daniel told me to keep my dukes up and my chin down and i think that's the best advice, well, ever.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Not One, But TWO

I am more gullible than I thought. I tried very hard on Sunday, aka April Fool's Day, to come up with some trickery.

After discussing the lack of possibility with Adam, I came up with this:


Crissy: I'm moving out.

Adam: I'm pregnant.

Maybe five minutes later, Erin and I start gmail-chatting.

Erin: I bought a real pony!
Crissy: Really????
Erin: April Fool's!


Yup. I thought Erin bought a pony. What I didn't realize til 10 minutes ago was that I had already fallen for another April Fool's. As I was signing into Gmail, I saw their new feature advertisement, for Gmail Paper. You tell them what emails you want hard copies of, they print and mail them to you. I thought what a dumb idea but whatevs, lalalalala, pony! So ya.
They were joking.

What happened to the good old days when I was the joke-maker? Rats. I better start planning for next year.

this must be an accurate personality test

because it took me under a minute to answer the questionnaire:


***Your Personality is Very Rare (INFP)***


Your personality type is dreamy, romantic, elegant, and expressive.

Only about 5% of all people have your personality, including 6% of all women and 4% of all men
You are Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving.


I feel and perceive so there, frakkers!
Wait, that wasn't that elegant, was it?

Sunday, April 01, 2007

rain on the roof

friday should have been renamed suckday. it was crapeaux. i do, however, have an absurdly awesome group of family and friends (and co-workers are included in there). watching american in paris was the right thing to do on saturday morning. but even friday-eve was an improvement. an odd assortment of activities.

1. the cd release performance of
Carmen Unzipped. Jean Stilwell sang some ... old standards? show tunes? (i don't know enough about this kind o' music to describe it with any accuracy) as well as some made-up (very) funny songs (e.g., about being in love with a starbucks barista) with little bits of dialogue peppered between about her history playing carmen and how it intersected with her personal life. then the show ended with that famous part from carmen. amazing.

then we wander 2. Betty's. For a in-between-time cocktail and a bite of supper. Tash & I attempt to have an actual conversation in a bar filled with drunk dudes watching the basketball game. It was pretty amusing. Enter S'rain, coming from a friend's wedding

and we 3. go to the Rent-A-G wrap party. the cabdriver is a philosopher who gives us a non-stop speech about his world view from the front seat, barely missing a beat when a giant coach bus turns into the cab and we have to make an emergency turn. tash has heart palpitations. we safely arrive
at the wrap party; it's at some legion-type hall on niagara. there's a bluegrass/country band. food catered by pizza hut. highlight for nerdly me: talking to colonel tigh's son. everyone is quite drunk, as they should be. there is a little front lawn with white benches, where you go to smoke. hanging out on a lawn was my other favourite part i think. i don't do that as much as i used to when i lived in the region. then home to bed.

open by lisa moore. it puts me in a trance. i quite love her writing and pledge to read her published rest. and to track down my copy of alligator and re-read it.

and to clarify on
never let me go -- i didn't think the concept of the book was silly. i thought the idea, the world of the book, had a lot of potential to be extremely interesting. and that's why i am miffed with it. because i thought it dropped the ball and didn't explore the good parts. its focus was so minute and for me, not compelling.

yestereve, tash & i had a proper Angel marathon. season 5 is a frakkin good season. at least the first 5 episodes are. the angel v. spike dynamic is comedy gold. the first time i watched S.5 was in such a flurry that I can't remember a lot of the plot and i'm going to stop trying. that way twill almost be like watching new eps of Angel. almost.

this week is my bro's bday, a concert with forbes (you say party! we say die!), and an easter trip to visit grandma ottawa.

and today it's raining. i shall slowly make my way over to the cfa and worky-work-work.